IBJJF Europeans 2011

01/02/2011 by admin.

Another great start to the year.

Dave ‘no carbs’ Broughton, Dougie Fresh, Gandhi Burgervan, Guvna & I went to compete at the IBJJF Euros in Lisbon. Our journey began at Gatwick Airport where we were joined by Sam ‘Benjamin Franklin’ Gibson, AFS Carlson Gracie. With our new recruit onboard, the first mission was to claim our transport. With our Sleasy Jet Speedy Boarding Passes, a must for the discerning BJJ budget globetrotter. Once onboard and as soon as Gandhi had caught the eye of the camp trolley dolly, we gently persuaded him to alert all fellow travellers with the traditional shout out of Carlson Gracie OSSSSSA! Our first moral victory was in the bag!

Day one, Gandhi was first up, only to lose to a terrorist arm bar attack! I still think you were set up by the people who wanted to sell you on the internet. Day two, the Blues. Dougie, Guvna & me!

Doug, just as soon as he stepped onto the mat was invited to triangle central station. This in itself, for all those who know Doug, is NOT an easy mission. Not that this was destined to stop our Carlson Gracie unit, nearly three minutes of repeated hostage negotiations and escapes Doug decided it was about time that he showed his opponent that Carlson Gracie never goes to sleep on the job. He exploded from the triangle and went to war… his opponent went for the stall and time was called to an advantage point for the triangle attempt.

Guvna, well little did we know but our Guvna had been wearing a strap-on for the past couple of days! Not the type of aid you are thinking about but the new technology that Dave had recently found us to keep out body parts from falling off. This consisted of a full knee taped support which covered a significant tag that Guvna had picked up a week before comp. Anyway, if you know Gunva & the Carlson Gracie boys then you will know that we eat injuries for breakfast with left over curry & cobra and they never stop us from stepping on the mat and raising hell. Only this time we were without our key, Russ Hell Boy Grant!

A good fight, but the injury took its claim just before Guvna could engage the wrath of Broughton and the spicy sausages he eat the night before which prevented his escape to victory.

Me, I hear you cry, Muttley back on the mats, well yes kind sirs, it’s been a while for me, shoulders falling off, nerve damage & what not but I thought I had nothing to lose. Well I did, and I do but I wanted some definitive direction and to kick start my return to the mats and what could be better than the Euros……It’s a different kind of pressure at the Euros, but that’s another story.

I wanted my first fight to be with the current Dutch Champion as I had been studying his fights on you porn, oops, you tube! I liked his game, and deep down I knew that I could smash him up. If you read this, then yes, I would like to fight you soon, before anything else falls off. However, my fight with him was to be adjourned to another day as I had been picked to fight a fine fellow from Najah. I knew what I wanted to do and how I was to achieve my goal. He was reluctant to touch gloves so I engaged two cheeky take down attempts and on the third I got tagged in the face as we both came together, it was indeed time to jump guard.

We went to the floor and I went for the sweep and immediately realised that whilst I had been pissing around with take downs that this gentleman had grown foundations at least six foot deep and his base was not to be compromised. Scissor sweep……err nope, break his posture and work some chokes……man his joints were made of concrete not a weakness anywhere. His guard pass was good but I wasn’t going to give this up not until I could see something I wanted. He then made it to half guard. I then escaped,he then pulled guard and I went for the smash pass. I could hear my team now, something that’s always with you on the mats is the sound of their passion, them going crazy. This always seems to centre me, a great thing indeed.

Unfortunately, whilst my brain had engaged this tactic my shoulder was not going to perform such a favour and decided to lag more than a 56k modem downloading midget porn for Dave, where’s technology when you need it, why didn’t I have one of Guvna’s strap-ons? To end my ordeal Mr Najah fought to side mount and secured the points for his win.

Now, a little interlude. I went to the Euros to get direction and as much as I was disappointed, direction I have gained massively, together with a passion bordering on madness to improve my game. Dickie recently made a statement ‘the only way to lose is to stay at home’ So my friends if you are reading this and are not raising hell on the mats then an arm chair warrior you will always be.

Now for the Carlson Gracie Team 101 lessons. Sam Gibson, just turned 21, AFSCG Purple belt. His first trip abroad and he was with his new family. Watching Sam fight is awesome or ‘sick’ as he would say! A credit to his father, instructor and team, not forgetting Dave Prawn. You can learn a lot from someone like Sam, his wisdom is great in many things and you can see this from the way he fights. His first win was text book, not to Sam though, highly critical of his own performance, always striving to improve.

Now for Dave. Let’s ignore his Gold Medal as this was him at his finest, enough said. This brings us onto his performance in the team events. Now it’s not often that you can sit and watch a Carlson Gracie 101 and it’s bold to say you will not often see such marvel. Every move Dave made in his fight we the boys made with him already knowing his opponents impending doom and the eventual outcome of the match, the submission. As Sam would say SICK. Sam went on to fight the teams & Dave Prawn showed us why he is still one half of the Guns Brothers. Jamil if you read this then get back on the mats, feel free to come teach me a lesson for my ignorance, our door in Tonbridge is always open.

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